Letter from The Editor: The Thing About My Birthday Party (And You're Invited)

Next Wednesday is my birthday. For years, I've made an elaborate show out of this day, declaring it a national holiday whereby everyone deserved to make merry and have a good time basically because I cried into the world. Maybe it's because I'm an only child, maybe it's because my mom made a HUGE deal out of my birthday every year, but it's never occurred to me NOT to make a big deal out of the day. As my mom is fond of saying, "The alternative to a birthday is death, so why not celebrate it?"

This year, however, I fell into a bit of a funk. Not necessarily at turning a year older, but at turning a year close to one that ends with a zero. What is it about those birthdays that end in fives and zeros that cause us to pause and either reflect or freak out (or perhaps a little bit of both)? It started to occur to me how close I am to an age where the backchatter of the media starts to permeate my brain and those comments about not having kids, being single "at my age", professional challenges, etc. start to wear on your sense of accomplishment.

I even canceled my own birthday party because I didn't want to add stress to my life this year...I'm not sure I have it in me to worry about the guest list, people being upset they weren't invited, people being upset because I invited someone they don't like, boyfriends showing up and making me leave my own party because they were too stupid to book their flights properly, party crashers, comped drinks, gift bags, etc. I'm just kind of over it.

Then it occurred to me that it's not about the party and about the people I was throwing these massive parties for: it's about ME. My birthday is a celebration of being alive, about the life in my years, about living an extraordinary existence. I, like everyone else in the world, deserve to celebrate my hard work, my successes and for one day stop focusing on emails and the needs of anyone but myself. It's a day all about ME. I never thought that would be a hard concept to accept, but the more I think about it, I like it. I'm fabulous and I deserve to celebrate being fabulous. Haters, step aside.

So, this year, instead of throwing some massive party here in NYC and worrying about the gift bags and the guest list, I've decided to keep it small and invite a select few people to celebrate with me for the next week. That would be YOU, dear readers of FSB. Because, let's face it, if anyone deserves to get the goodie bag at the end of the night and party like rock stars, it's you lovely people out there who click on those links every day and respond to my musings about fashion, style and beauty.

Beginning this afternoon and for the next week, I'm going to be doing a Birthday Giveaway Of The Day of gifts that I would personally LOVE to have in my gift bag, and every day you have a chance to win something. Think of it as my way of saying "thank you" and your virtual invitation to celebrate with me. So, for the next week, keep it tuned here for some pretty fabulous giveaways and look for a HUGE gift bag opportunity for one lucky reader on my actual birthday, June 9th. Oh, and if you want to celebrate with me on my actual birthday, I like champagne, red wine and dirty vodka martinis straight up with blue cheese olives. Feel free to select one (don't mix those - not pretty) and raise a glass somewhere around 7 pm, which is EXACTLY what I'll be doing.

Oh, and for my birthday party? I decided to have just a few girlfriends out on the town, the ones that make me feel forever fabulous and loved. It means that my birthday party won't be big, but I rest assured that it will be incredibly happy.

Editor’s Thoughts: Ten Items I’m Throwing Out During Spring Cleaning (They Might Surprise You)

It’s that time of year where we comb old t-shirts, excess mail, that pair of jeans we keep swearing we’re getting into THIS summer – it’s all got to go. I’m working on my own spring cleaning list and I’m ditching some things you might not expect:

Clothes That Don’t Fit: Let’s be clear about how hard this will be for me because, hey, the smaller stuff? Gone. However, I tend to hang onto larger clothes, things that used to fit when I was a larger size. I’ve seen photographs of me in my adult fashion versions of the security blanket and I look frumpy and sad. I’ve shed the weight, why not the clothes? Gently used clothing will be donated, anything that looks like a costume from Les Miserables needs to go in the trash.


Old Beauty Items: I preach this, I practice it ,and I’m getting in your face about it. You cannot hang onto makeup past its expiration date. It’s not only unflattering, it’s unhealthy. Mascara wands and applicators can become a breeding ground for bacteria. Hey, this also goes for old manicure and pedicure tools, worn-down pumice stones, back brushes and bath items that have that weird rust look to them, shower caps that smell, etc. Why would you use a dirty loofah to clean yourself? Exactly. Out it goes.

Shoes That Can’t Be Repaired or Will Never Return to Style Again: I recently rediscovered a pair of jelly shoes that had a wooden sole. I can’t tell you exactly how intoxicated I was when I bought them (because, let’s face it, that’s the only valid excuse) but they have to GO. I’ve also been holding onto a pair of shoes that looks like I wore them hiking through Middle Earth. If they’re beyond repair or will never return to style (or were never in style – BE HONEST with yourself), buh-bye.


Food and Beverages That Aren’t Good for Me: Out of nothing but a lack of time, I have fallen into the pre-packaged food rut. This has led to an unending battle with the spare tire around my waist and it’s starting to piss me off. If it comes in a box and has an expiration date of six months from now to, oh, the Apocalypse, it has to be donated or go out. I’m determined to eat and feel better about myself and I can’t do that shoveling crap into my mouth.


Bad Relationships: I’ve taken my share of hard knocks recently in the relationship department from both a friendship and romantic perspective. Here’s the truth: people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Hanging onto to relationships that aren’t good for you is counterproductive to your life and adds incredible amounts of unhappiness. Plus, wrinkles suck. Be kind, but let go.


Putting My Health On the Back Burner: I recently discovered that I have a heart condition because I sensed some warning signs that I learned from the American Heart Association. The information basically saved my life and I can now live with, and manage, said condition. My doctors told me if left undetected I would have had either a heart attack or a stroke within a year or two years. Nobody likes a dead blogger and your health is nothing to screw around with. Go to your doctor, get checked, get tested, know your stats and take care of your body. It’s the only one you have and once it’s broken, it’s really hard to fix.

Regrets: Learning from our mistakes is what makes us human, but carrying guilt around for things you’ve done (or for things people perceive you’ve done and they try to make you suffer for it) is negative energy that is highly destructive. Throw that out, then forgive yourself or whoever it is and move on. While you’re at it, throw Shame, Angst, Fury, Greed, Coveting and Rage out with it.

Fear of Success: Think of any time in your life where you’ve had some success and “something happened” to snatch it away from you. Were you really a victim or were you so intimidated by your own success that you did something to sabotage it? The mind is a powerful thing. If you don’t believe you deserve to be happy, you will create unhappiness. Throw that fear out and believe you truly deserve the abundance coming into your life. I promise you right now that you’ll always get what you THINK you deserve.


The Inability to Say “No”: Gets me in trouble every time. I love to be of service to people and, honestly, I’m a people pleaser. This means that I over-commit or wind up regretting the Hell out of it later. I’m working to correct the situations this has gotten me into in the past but moving forward, look for the word “No” to come up way more often than it ever has.


Being Anyone Other Than Who I Am: Look, I’m quirky. I like to stay out late, I love stupid jokes and sometimes I laugh too loud. I eat applesauce with mashed potatoes, I think the ‘h’ in the word ‘vehicle’ should be silent, and I really hate when people bump into me without making eye contact (the laws of physics don’t just magically disappear because you want to be an obstinate asshole on the sidewalk today). This is who I am. These are just a few of the things that I stand for. If this isn’t for you, I suggest you move on. Everyone deserves to be exactly who they are. Love me or hate me, I demand you respect that about me and I think you have the right to do so for yourself.

What are you getting rid of this season? Leave your comments below or feel free to email me. Would love to hear your thoughts on this piece and what changes you’re making in your own lives.

Edtior's Note: Happy Birthday to Fashion.Style.Beauty!

Last night I went out for a glass of champagne to celebrate one of the greatest accomplishments of my life so far: Fashion.Style.Beauty turned one on March 5th!

When I basically sold everything I owned to move to NYC in April 2007, I had only one goal: to become a fashion and beauty writer in the worlds of fashion and beauty in New York City. I kept my "day job" in corporate America until the downturn of the economy sent me another message when I lost my job at a major financial firm. I took that as a sign to go into publishing full-time and prayed I'd never have to look back. After starting this site on March 5th of 2009, it's my belief and constant prayer that I never have to do anything other than what I love ever again.

One year after its start date, Fashion.Style.Beauty is a labor of love of over 460 posts, countless events and tireless work hours. It's a seven-day-a-week job. What I hope I've built is an indulgence not only for the mind but for the soul as well. If you find any comfort and joy in reading even the smallest sales announcement on this site, I feel I've done well by you.

As I'm spending the weekend loading a tremendous amount of information into the system and planning the direction of the site moving forward, I write this note to all of you, the readers of Fashion.Style.Beauty. I owe every single one of you a huge debt of gratitude for spending time with me almost every day, reading what I have to say. I wish I could throw a huge party and invite all of you and lavish you with gifts, but for now I can only offer my sincerest gratitude and a promise that the site will continue to get better every day. I've got some huge things planned and I hope you'll be as excited about them as I am.

I know people tend to disregard blogs and the seriousness of what we do. If they only knew the amount of blood, sweat and tears that go into maintaining a site, they might think a little differently. Most of us are an army of one, working until late into the night and on weekends to deliver smart, thoughtful content. To my fellow bloggers out there working hard, I raise a glass to you.

Happy Birthday to my baby, Fashion.Style.Beauty. Mama is so proud!

Magazine Love: Christina Hendricks on the Cover of New York Magazine

You know, I was trying to take the weekend down, but when I started going through the 20 lbs of mail that I have in my living room, I had a moment of pause when I saw this cover of New York Magazine with Mad Men's Christina Hendricks on the cover. I mean, can we just take a moment here? Wow. This is GORGEOUS.

I have struggled with my weight for years now and being around people who are fasting and starving and always on some kind of diet brings out the worst in me. I fight it all I can but sometimes the pressure to be a certain weight overtakes me (as it does a lot of people) and it can lead to a feeling of such intense scrutiny. I lost a good amount of weight before Fashion Week but that whole quest to drop a dress size? Didn't make it. Not because I didn't try, but because the goal wasn't a realistic one...and it was incredibly vain.

When I saw the cover of this magazine, it actually made me stop and think. Here is this breathtaking woman, someone with whom I can identify as a body type, on the cover of a major magazine (and the cover of the Spring fashion issue, no less.) This isn't about being plus size or rail thin. This is about celebrating beauty and style. Beauty? We all have it. Style? We all possess it and it's really all about celebrating who we are with an almost reckless abandon.

I feel that it's important to highlight all types of fashion, style and beauty on this site, and this magazine cover has inspired me to take a vow here and now: I vow to celebrate my body the way it is right this minute and to stop punishing myself. Because right this minute, I have a living, breathing body in which to celebrate my life. That, my friends, is beautiful.

Bravo, New York Magazine. Bravo.

New York Fashion Week: Ten Things NOT To Do

We’re off and running at the tents and there are a few things to remember when heading into our beloved Bryant Park and MAC at Milk. There are many things to do, but what about some things you might want to consider NOT doing? Here’s a quick primer for first-timers and a mild reminder for those of us who’ve been here a few times:

1)    Don’t be rude to PR people: Look, they’re human, just like you.  Schmoozing, insulting, threatening them, hurtling items at them and acting like a total asshole will not only ensure you’re not invited back but it can get you ejected and banned. Be patient and wait. Manners go a LONG WAY.

2)    Don’t forget to eat: The Fashion Week diet usually consists on coffee, water, food no larger than your finger and copious amounts of alcohol. This is really no way to live. You’ll lose weight by default because you’re racing from location to location, so make sure you eat something substantial at least ONCE. If that means you break your “no white flour” rule, so be it. Fainting dead away in line for a show isn’t cute and your attitude when you’re hungry is NOT attractive.

3)    Don’t push: I have a rule this yea: if you push me in line, I will most likely push back. I am tired of people shoving me. We are all in the same line, going to the same place. Feel free to race to the front if you’re in the standing section once you’re up the stairs but the angry shoving is insane and it could get someone hurt. I saw a woman get pushed to the ground last year going into the main tent and I am NOT going out like that.

4)    Don’t complain about having to wait in line: It’s a cattle call, people. There’s a lot of waiting for a very brief event called a show. We all know it so come prepared. There’s a ton of reading material at the front check-in desk. WWD and The Daily are there. Strike up a conversation. Check your email. Chill the Hell out.

5)    Don’t complain about your feet hurting: You will get sympathy from no one. Those stones are hard on your feet, your knees and your back. If you wear high heels on them for a long time, one or all three will eventually start to ache. Either bring a pair of shoes that are more comfortable or suffer in silence. Some of us bring more than one pair of shoes. I suggest you do the same.

6)    Don’t forget breath mints and gum: Remember that advice about eating? Well, standing in close proximity to someone who has eaten something kinda stinky or who hasn’t eaten at all is not pleasant. A curiously strong mint will make everyone happy and it might add one calorie for your brain to function.  We all win.

7)    Don’t be a swag whore: We all get excited about the stuff we get during Fashion Week.  It’s chock full of goodies. However,  asking for more than one swag bag, looting other people’s bags, requesting swag, getting upset because there isn’t a gift on your chair and tweeting about the swag you get is what gives us all a bad name. Be gracious, say thanks and take it somewhere you  and your friends can enjoy it later. No one walks away empty-handed anyway. You got to attend New York Fashion Week. How many people can really say that?

8)    Don’t name drop: We all know someone important.  This really doesn’t matter inside the tents. Real VIPs don’t have to announce they’re important. Posers do. That is all.

9)    Don’t freak when someone famous walks by: There are celebrities EVERYWHERE. By all means, when Anna Wintour walks by, you can look at her with reverence but screaming her name and mugging her for a photo with your or an autograph is unprofessional and it screams “tourist.” This is the one time you can mix and mingle with celebrities as just one of the crowd. Don’t ruin that opportunity for yourself and all of us.

10)    Don’t forget to have fun! It’s Fashion Week. Take tons of photos, tweet like Hell and enjoy. Our favorite holiday comes but twice a year.

Editor's Comments: Kate Gosselin and the Hair Debacle

I'm on a roll today, evidently.

Earlier today, the Twittersphere was all abuzz after it was brought to light that Kate Gosselin reportedly said that she didn't like her brand new look. You know, the fabulous new hair extensions and color job where she looked amazing on the cover of People, performed by legendary hairstylist Ted Gibson and his partner-in-crime, master colorist Jason Backe? Gosselin's evidently afraid that she looks like one of Tiger Woods' hookups. Supposedly, her kids made fun of the hairstyle and she got upset and cried.

Look, I'm not a fan of the whole Jon and Kate thing and the only reason I did the post announcing her makeover is honestly because I thought, wow, what a dream opportunity. Here's someone who desperately needed a makeover and she got the chance to get a beauty do-over from one of the best hair teams in the WORLD. Ted and Jason are extremely talented, A-list and highly sought after. There is no way that a team who works on top editors, the fashion world and Hollywood's red carpet darlings made her look like cheap and tawdry and to say something like that (you have heard of an "inside voice" haven't you, mother of eight?) was so disrespectful. It took a reported twenty hours of work to make it look like she wasn't an accident from a hair college training exercise. Kate, if you're reading this, you NEEDED that makeover and to throw such a gift back is deplorable. It was a huge error in judgment but then again, I guess I should expect that from someone who, you know, would marry Jon Gosselin.

What breaks my heart is that there are women out there going through extraordinary circumstances who would have KILLED to have $7000 worth of attention paid to them to start the New Year off with a new look from the best in the business. Ted and Jason are not only some of the most talented, they're also some of the nicest, most thoughful people ever. You don't disrespect that kind of talent, I don't care who you are.

I understand being uncomfortable with a new look amidst a lot of change but there's such a thing as GRACE. Be gracious about all these gifts, Kate, because when your fifteen minutes are up (which I pray will be soon), you'll lament it.

Oh and this is the last time I will ever give this issue or Kate Gosselin or any of this ridiculousness any space ever again. I need the Gosselin thing to just go away already.

Editor's Commentary: No, I'm Not Married: The "Samantha Effect"

I don’t normally use FSB as a platform for personal items, but I had a rather unpleasant experience and it’s reached a level of cumulative discomfort where I feel it’s necessary to say something.

I attended an event recently where I came across a rather unpleasant woman who after meeting me for, oh, five minutes, inquired about my marital status. She, married with children and living in suburbia, upon discovering I wasn’t married and had no children, uttered the words that single women everywhere just looooove to hear: “How is it that you’re still single at your age?” and then proceeded to look at me with the incredulous, expectant crazy eyes I and my single sisters are used to seeing, accompanied by that smug smile that reeks of some level of internal satisfaction that comes from goodness-only-knows-where.

Author Helen Fielding of Bridget Jones fame commonly referred to these people as “smug marrieds” in her books. After suffering this foolish behavior for much, much too long, let me go ahead and say it loud and proud: I am very, very happy being single. I love that I can have company when I want it and silence when I don’t. I love that if I want to eat crackers naked in my living room during a True Blood marathon on HBO On Demand whilst blogging and drinking copious amounts of red wine, I can do it and no one can say anything about it. I don’t share my bathroom with anyone, my money is my own and so is my personal space. I love that I have the option to date hilarious, different men and enjoy a sex life that would make you completely uncomfortable on one level and envious beyond belief on another. If I get lonely, I go out. If I want silence, I turn everything off. I travel, I have friends, I have lovers, I have brunch, I shop and that existence is perfectly amazing and makes me really happy. I am living a life of my dreams right now and if someday I choose to have kids and get married, I can do that when I want. That's my choice.

Again, that’s saying that I want kids. I’m still not sure about that and given that this is the United States of America and I still have control over my reproductive rights, I have the choice to wait. My marital status is also within my control and the last I checked, there was no clock ticking over my head.


The argument that really makes me angry is the “you’re not getting any younger” argument. What an insane justification to put pressure on women to make two of the most important decisions of their entire lives. Putting undue pressure on someone to do something before your heart and soul are ready because your body might be aging is wrong, cruel and unjust. If I can’t have kids naturally without risk, there are millions of children in the foster care and adoption system who need people to love and care for them. The world needs good people to parent and as far as I’m concerned, biology has nothing to do with it.

So just because you couldn’t fathom doing what I’m doing doesn’t give you the right to ask questions or attempt to make me feel badly for my decision. I’m perfectly happy to hang out with my friends in New York City, write a fabulous fashion and beauty blog, date and travel. You should be perfectly happy with your life and your achievements and decisions as well. I have many friends who are mothers and I honor that commitment. They’re amazing people who have to care for the lives of the next generation and it’s not a small task. I should add that said friends who are moms respect my decision to be unmarried and childless. There’s room out here for all of us.

So the way I typically answer the question, “Why aren’t you married at your age?” is with the equally uncomfortable reply, “Because I’m not done having fabulous sex with random strangers yet.” It works for me.

Let’s all just get along, shall we?

Editor's Thoughts: The Ten Commandments Of Beauty (They're Not What You Think)

I felt it was time for a beauty manifesto. Here we go:

1) Thou Shalt Not Overcleanse - If you have oily skin, scrubbing at acne and oil only makes your skin produce more oil because you're scraping off the protective layer it's creating because it's irritated. See a dermatologist if it's really bad, but cleansing gently maybe once or twice a day and, yes, moisturizing, will be the keys to eradicating this issue.

2) Thou Shall Remove Thy Makeup At Night - We all fall asleep at night, so if you're just that tired (or drunk - don't look offended, you know you've done it), keep baby wipes or Alcone Makeup Remover Cloths next to your bed and swipe it off if you can't do a full cleaning. Your body repairs itself at night and if your skin is reforming with lumps of foundation on top of it, guess what kind of skin you'll eventually have? Not good, people.

3) Thou Shalt Never Shame Another Woman's Beauty - This is a personal pet peeve of mine. Never tell a heavy-set woman "But you have such a pretty face." That is such a horrible, degrading thing to say to someone and you're just making her feel badly. She knows she has a pretty face and you saying that implies the comment "But what a shame about the rest of you." No one needs that evil in the world. Cut that out. The same also goes for the "good hair" controversy. Little girls with coarse or curly hair have fantastic, natural hair. Just because it's foreign to you or doesn't appear on a movie star doesn't mean it's bad. Leave other people alone.

4) Thou Shall Get Expert Consultation - Once or twice a year, I highly recommend going to a professional makeup artist (one you love and trust, not just some random person) and dumping your makeup bag out on the counter. This person should go through your makeup bag, show you what looks good on you, throw out anything that has expired or looks like crap, then help you select new products after consulting on a look with you. It's a simple principle, really: if your makeup bag is only filled with things that look amazing on you, you'll always look your best.

4.5) Thou Shall Throw Away Old Makeup - I used to yell at my own mother for this: cosmetics are not collector's items. You expose them to bacteria and pollutants every time you use them and they ALL have a shelf life. Throw them away and that also goes for those weird impulse purchases you'll wear "someday." If you haven't used it in six months, you won't. Ditch it.


5) Thou Shall Find a Skincare Regimen That Works and Stick With It - People always say, "You have the most amazing skin. What's your secret?" Ladies, my mother told me when I was little that the less you do to your skin the less you will ever have to do to your skin and it stuck. I only wash my face once a day (I splash water on it in the morning to wake myself up but only cleanse at night) and I use Amore Pacific Moisture Bound skincare like it's my job. Find out what works for you and then stick with it. If you cheat on a good skin routine,your skin will tell on you.

6) Thou Shalt Not Share Makeup With Others - Ew. Just...ew. Everyone keep your own bacteria to yourself and that includes lip balms and other nonsense. Gross.

7) Thou Shall Embrace Thy Own Beauty - Look at you, you gorgeous thing. You're hot! Right now, the body, face, skin and hair you have are what you're working with and you should love the Hell out of yourself. If you feel like you'd like to make some adjustments that's fine, but accept yourself as you are. Your hair houses the brain that thinks for you, your skin encases the heart that loves, and your makeup covers the lips that will hopefully speak amazing acts of encouragement to another woman who needs it. Beauty products just enhance how you feel inside so begin feeling beautiful from within.

8) Thou Shall Put Down Weapons of Mass Beauty Destruction - Can we talk about this? Look, we all use implements like blow dryers,curling irons,relaxers, weaves, hair color and things of this nature, but at some point it can get to excess. I don't have to spell it out for you but let me just say this: if your beauty routine includes any action that goes over and above regular maintenance, causes tears of frustration and hours of your life missed because you can't leave the house, you might want to think about accepting some facts and making your life easier. A beauty routine should help you present a positive appearance to your best life, but if the beauty routine IS your life, you're missing out. Rethink this strategy.

9) Thou Shalt Not Be Diet-Crazed - Ah, see what I did? Look, I've been there but obsessing over every single morsel you put in your mouth is no way to live. Some of the least attractive people I've ever met are extremely diet-obsessed individuals and it shows in your skin. There's no facial good enough to hide malnutrition or unhappiness, so save yourself the trouble and eat the cookie, damn it.

10) Thou Shall Work It - Put your best face forward every day and enter the world knowing that you look amazing. We're all beautiful in our own way and with the right tools and attitude, everyone will come to know what you've already suspected: you're beautiful!

Editor's Pick: Take a Walk On The Plus Side

Kimberly Williamson/Courtesy of StyleIt

My friend Sarah Conley, the EIC of StyleIt, is doing something rather extraordinary and I believe it's worth noting. As a fabulous plus-sized woman with incredible style, she's decided to document her fabulous fashion and makeup picks as part of a new series called On The Plus Side: Look Of the Day. The photos are gorgeous (as you can see above) and the fashion picks are quite good but the point is that she's decided not to crop the shots in any way. These are full-body photographs that make a statement that cannot be ignored: she is there in all her glory and she's asking women no matter what your size to celebrate your body and your sense of style.

I might be slightly biased because she's my friend, but I have to mark the moment and encourage everyone to subscribe to these posts. The essence of true fashion, style and beauty begins with the individual accepting themselves as a FACT. Right this minute, you have the healthy, beautiful body you have been given and you should celebrate and adorn it accordingly. No more waiting until you lose that weight or you get that job or that guy/girl shows up to let your true style emerge. Follow Sarah's inspiring posts and hopefully it will inspire you to realize that we are all stunning, we are all beautiful and, like Sarah, we all have incredible style.

Here We Go Again....Editor's Thoughts: Karl Lagerfeld vs Plus-Sized Women

I got out of bed this morning to do 90 minutes worth of soul-soothing, amazing yoga this morning. I was all smoothed out and in a peaceful place until I logged onto my computer this morning. First I felt I had to say something about the fact that there was a model painted in blackface in French Vogue. Now Karl Lagerfeld has gone and insulted curvy and plus-sized women. This site is not normally rant-heavy but, you know, evidently today is special so let's get to it, shall we?

According to StyleList, German magazine Brigitte has decided to use "ordinary, realistic" women in their magazine instead of models. As a fellow countryman and fashion expert, when German magazine Focus contacted Lagerfeld for his opinion on the magazine's strategy, this is what happened:

Lagerfeld, speaking in German, his native tongue, told Focus that Brigitte's plan was "absurd," and that the women complaining about too-skinny models were just fat and jealous. "These are fat mummies sitting with their bags of crisps in front of the television, saying that thin models are ugly," the Chanel designer tells Focus, going on to say that the fashion industry supports "dreams and illusions, and no one wants to see round women."
--AOL Stylist, 10/12/09

Sigh.

Some points on the statement:

• The "fat mummies" of which he speaks aren't the ones screaming for reform on the minimum weights of said models. It's the fashion industry itself that's starting to turn a keen eye to the health of models and the negative impact of unobtainable images on its customers. Perhaps we're asking for more realistic body images but we're the CUSTOMERS. We can do that.
  
• Lagerfeld himself famously lost 93 lbs in 13 months to fit into Dior Homme's skinny suits. Once a rather curvy individual himself, this comment seems a tad hypocritical.
• I imagine the publishers of Brigitte have a right to change their content any way they see fit. If they choose to only use models that are of a more mainstream weight category, what's the harm in that? The fantasy is about the clothes and of living a beautiful lifestyle, not starving yourself into a body type that you cannot obtain without risk to your own health.

Lagerfeld's point that the fashion industry is about illusions and dreams is absolutely correct, but there are still a great number of people in said industry that practice a long-understood bias against anyone over a size 6. That doesn't make it right and it doesn't mean it can't change. Let's see if Brigitte's plan is so crazy. If women buy the magazine and the advertisers remain happy, so much the better.

Why can't we use editorial images to portray healthy bodies of all types and weights because we're ALL beautiful when we take care of ourselves. As a "round woman", I'll just have to pursue my dreams and aspirations without wearing Chanel until an apology is received. :)

FSB Want To Know: Your Thoughts On The French Vogue Blackface Issue?

This morning, the writers at New York Magazine's The Cut happened upon a new issue via the fabulous ladies of Jezebel: it appears that French Vogue has decided to feature Dutch model Lara Stone in blackface as part of their supermodel issue. Here is an excerpt:

"French Vogue has a reputation for controversy, and this month's issue is no exception. Steven Klein shot Dutch supermodel Lara Stone in blackface makeup for a spread styled by French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld.... The roster — including Kate Moss, Kristen McMenamy, Yasmin Le Bon, Eva Herzigova, Claudia Schiffer, Anna Selezneva, Diane Kruger, Constance Jabloski, and Eniko Mihalik — is entirely white. No black or Asian models made the cut. But they hired Lara — and her curves — in the spirit of inclusiveness, right?"

Ok, let's break this down to its basic facts. French Vogue is a fashion magazine, fashion magazines use models and, last I checked, we have plenty of amazing, gorgeous, authentically black models out here. I mean, I don't know about you but if I'm going to include Kate Moss, Eva Herzigova and Claudia Schiffer in a "Model" issue, I would include their 80's supermodel peer, NAOMI CAMPBELL, who happens to be, you know, black. God, even if Naomi wasn't available, we have other black major models they could have utilized: Alek Wek, Veronica Webb, Tyra Banks, Iman, Chanel Iman, Liya Kedebe...? Look, I get that this is artistic expression but if we're truly trying to make the artistic statement that she's a blank canvas, could we have hired a black model and painted her white as well? Just saying...

Also, no Asian models? Again, if we're talking about the supermodel era, Jenny Shimuzu was groundbreaking and Devon Aoki also cannot be ignored. If the point of art is to provoke, then they've definitely created a provocative photo spread but at what cost? If we look to fashion to dream, what does painting a model in blackface say to women of color who aspire to wear the clothes, either on the runway or real life?

I'm DYING to hear your comments on this one. Is this perfectly acceptable or in very poor taste? Leave me your comments below and let's chat.

Editor's Note: FTC Ruling on "Paid" Bloggers

I just read an article in the New York Times that stated that the FTC is asking bloggers to disclose payments on "freebies" if we receive them or we can be fined. This follows up on a firestorm that started back in June of this year when word of crackdowns on blogger endorsements and excessive swag started and fingers started pointing. Since this note came out today, I thought it was time to say something about the matter. An excerpt from the new FTC document is stated below:

"The revised Guides also add new examples to illustrate the long standing principle that 'material connections' (sometimes payments or free products) between advertisers and endorsers--connections that consumers would not expect--must be disclosed. These examples address what constitutes an endorsement when the message is conveyed by bloggers or other 'word-of-mouth' marketers. The revised Guides specify that while decisions will be reached on a case-by-case basis, the post of a blogger who receives cash or in-kind payment to review a product is considered an endorsement. Thus, bloggers who make an endorsement must disclose the material connections they share with the seller of the product or service."

Evidently, according to CNET, the crackdown will also start extend to celebrity endorsements, which should ostensibly stop silent endorsements or gushing about how much a famous person loves something only to find out that they're being paid to do this.

Let me state for the record that I and many of my counterparts in online publishing (and blogs are online publications, for the record) contrary to popular belief are not in this for free products. There is no pay for play on this site or any of the other blogs you have seen promoted on Fashion.Style.Beauty. I receive products to test. If I don't like them, I don't write about them and many of us behave the same way. Let me state that again: this site is 100% editorial. No one is giving me kickbacks or paying me with ANYTHING to write about ANY of the content on this blog. If you read about it here, I want you to know about it and not because someone is giving me some kind of kickback. Advertisements on this site are plainly marked as such and are displayed on the outer borders of the page. Fashion.Style.Beauty is MY opinion and based on MY experiences and there are many of my online counterparts who can very easily report the same thing. No one owns or dictates the content on this site. I do.

Furthermore, I have no issues with complying with any and all regulations but don't just single out online publications - ALL publications must be held to this standard. Any and all of us should be able to clearly state to you what is editorial and what is paid advertising. Print publications attend the same events and are privy to the same "sweeteners."

I look forward to seeing how this will play out across all media, but speaking for those of us who take these things seriously and are ethical in the reporting of our content and products, I work very hard to bring my readers clearly-marked, editorial, unbiased content and I'm feel it necessary to give rebuttal to insinuations about my conduct or that of my hard-working compatriots who don't deserve it.

Now, back to the business of fashion, style and beauty.

Editor's Thoughts: There Is Beauty In Boldness. Begin Today.

This isn't a normal fashion or beauty post but I wanted to take a moment as the Editor of this publication to share something with you.

Having just completed Fashion Week and moving into a new apartment all within days of each other, I was cleaning out my wallet of receipts and other debris when I came across a folded piece of paper. When I opened it, I was surprised to find a list that I had created years ago - a list of dreams and aspirations.

Let me backtrack: before I started FSB, I spent years sort of hopping in and out of corporate America jobs, trying to find out where I belonged in the world. I dabbled in writing as a hobby but never dared to think it was something I could do to make a living. After fifteen years of working and living in a manner that made everyone else comfortable but it made me miserable, I had all but given credence to the warnings of the people that surrounded me: people who said that I could never make a living as a writer, negated the career since I hadn't gone to school for writing, and many who said that at my age I should be concerned with getting married and having children rather than following some foolish dream. I quietly shoved my dreams down under pints of ice cream and worked to help corporations achieve their profits because I didn't think I was allowed to have dreams of my own.

I think most of us reach a point in our lives where we say, "Is this all there is?" You can do two things when that happens: you can say "Yes, this is all there is" and be okay with it, or you can say, "No, I want something else" and change your life. When I woke up one day in March 2007 and decided that my life wasn't all I wanted it to be, I got really angry and decided to make it more. I curled up in my apartment and made a list of all the things I wanted out of my life. I spent an entire day writing this list, then folded and placed it inside my wallet in an inside flap, where it has remained until today.

Let me further state why finding this list was so incredible: I have lost this wallet twice in the past year, so the fact that all of the contents of the wallet were returned to me without much incident is still astounding to me.

When I opened the list, I was amazed to find that I had created most of what I had dreamed of almost three years ago. I moved myself to NYC a month after I created this note with only two suitcases and $300 in my wallet. What started as small side work as a blogger became a career in earnest when I was laid off from what I hope to be the last corporate position I'll ever work in September 2008. Having not looked at the list, I've achieved a lot of what's on it, but the most striking thing is still that I had the audacity to write it and believe I was worthy of these things. I hold firm to the fact that because I believed I could have my dreams, they started showing up.

I write this note to tell you that FSB is proof-positive that believing you can have what you want is completely possible. I'm also telling you this because at 38 years of age, many people are sort of shocked at the fact that I "started so late." Last I checked, dreams and goal-setting doesn't have an age limit. It's never too late to start.

Here's the challenge: write your own list tonight, then set your mind and heart to it that you're going to give your dreams a shot. Trust me, the fears I faced paled in comparison to the thoughts of living a life that was not all I wanted. When the present or future make me nervous, I look backwards and it pushes me forward.

There is Beauty in Boldness. Begin today.

Editor's Thoughts: Where Are All The Black Models?

Photo credit: Photo by Oktay Cilesiz/AA/Cameleon/ABACAPRESS.COM Photo via Newscom

I just read some news pieces from one of my favorite sites, Fashionologie, about Naomi Campbell's comments regarding the fact that she feels the industry is sliding backwards in their placement of black models on the covers of major magazines. In a recent interview with the UK Telegraph, she says,

"This year, we have gone back all the way that we had advanced," she says. "I don't see any black woman, or of any other race, in big advertising campaigns."

Campbell, ever-outspoken, goes on to address the special edition of Italian Vogue from last year that highlighted models of color, stating, "That made some noise, but, unfortunately, we are the same as before," she says. "People, in the panic of the recession, don't dare to put a girl of colour in their campaign, full stop. Nor of any other race. It's a shame. It's very sad."

As Naomi is about to hit her 25th anniversary in the world of modeling, it seems that her support base is not there as it once was. I reported earlier that Yves Saint Laurent famously threatened to pull all of his advertising if Naomi wasn't given the cover of French Vogue and Naomi's famous supermodel counterparts, Linda Evangelista and Christy Turlington, also protected her and famously threatened not to do shows unless Naomi could come as well. I hope that camaraderie is not completely lost but she does have a point: how many black models (or models of anything other than Caucasian descent) have you seen in advertising lately for luxury goods? I'm not talking about celebrities. I mean models.

It will be interesting to see if the $1 trillion dollars of spending that black women reportedly account for now will demand the shift happen again. We see diversity in ads for mass market brands but other than jewelry or alcohol-related purchases, why does it seem such a risk to show a Black woman living a luxurious lifestyle in the apparel and accessories befitting her status?

We've even taken swipes at our own First Lady if she wears anything that might be too expensive. Every time she wears something over a certain amount of money, people claim that she's "losing touch with her public." My gut instinct is that a black woman in power wearing couture makes people nervous, that it's somehow offensive or unrealistic. It's just silly: women of color are making huge strides in the world and they should dress accordingly. We have a black First Lady wearing Jason Wu, Isabel Toledo, Thakoon and Michael Kors. The rightful place of all women is truly where we dream we can be, not where some lack of image tells us we can't go.

You may ask, why is it important that a black woman be on the cover of a major fashion magazine, why all the fuss? Because in an image-driven world, young women of color are bombarded by images on a daily basis that say, "This could be you someday." Without aspirational branding and images that show women of color highlighted as powerful tastemakers, we must work extra-hard to reinforce the message that it is possible for a woman of color to reach this level.

Naomi has a point and my question to the $1 trillion spenders out there and to the companies who I suppose don't care that their customer base will eventually erode as the world demographic changes: who will make the demand for change? Most important, how soon?

Editor's Thoughts: The Essence of a Beautiful Life

I was just organizing some products this morning when I was thinking about how much my life has changed over the past three years. Many of you wouldn't know this about me, but FSB is dream-turned-reality, a journey into the person that I'd wanted to be my entire life but had somehow never allowed myself to be.

Working corporate jobs since college graduation, I buried my dreams of writing about fashion and beauty underneath a lot of purchases (many of them caused the "WTF was I thinking?" question later), a considerable amount of body weight and put my soul to sleep. I read magazines and followed the writers like most people follow celebrities, wishing I could do that instead of what I was doing. This continued until one day I woke up in an apartment filled with things I didn't need in a life I really didn't want as someone I didn't even recognize. I decided to get rid of almost everything I owned, packed my things and took a chance on a move to New York City to become a writer.

Three years later, I'm preparing to attend New York Fashion Week on my own merits as the Editor of this publication. The funny thing is, if you ask me about all of the "things" I had to give up to get here, I don't honestly remember them. They belonged to another woman as far as I can tell and she is thankfully at rest. After a considerable amount of purging and donations, almost everything in my presence right now is something that makes my heart sing. Well, with the exception of a pair of Louboutins, but I'm working on that.

I write this note to you this Friday morning to encourage you to find your own style of living and unapologetically surround yourself with only the people and items that truly make you happy. A well-curated closet is one thing but a well-curated life is, in my opinion, the basis for all things fashion, the essence of real style, and the foundation for a truly beautiful life.

NYFW: Getting Ready for Fashion Week

You know how they say that you know the moment you fall in love? All the air comes out of your body, you can't breathe and it feels like lightening hit you in the chest? I've only had this feeling a few times in my life but the first time I really felt it deep down in my soul was the moment I walked through the tents at Fashion Week.

As insane as all the standing in line while wearing painful shoes can be, I love every crazy, madcap moment of it. I love the energy of the shows, I adore looking at everyone as they dress to impress - it never gets old for me. But the main reason I love to attend Fashion Week is out of a sheer, unabashed love for the clothes. I have always adored good design and when you see these gorgeous items stalking down the runway on a model who is working it for all its worth, they can create moments that take your breath away.

Fashion.Style.Beauty will be reporting live from the tents this year in both photo and video. We're going backstage once or twice and we'll be giving you all the news that's fit to print when it comes to the designers, their collections and all of the fun and fabulousness that is Fashion Week. For the first time ever, we'll be running back and forth between the Bryant Park tents of Mercedes Benz Fashion Week and the new MAC at Milk, the beloved makeup brand's collaboration with Milk Studios in Soho. This will be very interesting as some beloved favorite designers are returning to the tents while others have decided to show at Milk. The times they are a-changin' and we'll be reporting on all of it as we can. We're also part of Style Coalition's Inside The Tents. As one of the new kids on the block, we're honored to be included!

If you're not a subscriber, you might want to do so now because we'll be giving exclusives and giveaways during Fashion Week for our beloved subscribers ONLY. I'll be sending along sneak peeks at the collections and reporting on my preparations to wear some pretty brilliant clothes during that time. Every day you'll get a shot of what I'm wearing and where you can get these looks yourself. I hope you'll join me on this journey to the tents (and beyond). It's love and a pure passion for fashion...let's get ready for Fashion Week!

#NYFW

Editor's Thoughts: Getting "Real" about "Real" Hair

Yesterday morning, I was called upon to give a quote for BlackBook magazine's online beauty column, Beauty Junkie. The piece was on Tyra Banks' decision to launch the new season of her talk show with her natural hair as opposed to the weaves she normally wears. You can read the article here, but my comment on the situation was this:

“I think it’s a very intelligent and brave decision for Tyra to present herself to the world with a weave-free head. It says to me that she no longer feels she has to have Caucasian-textured hair to be perceived as beautiful, which is a huge statement for women of color. There is more than one perception of beauty in the world and by Tyra accepting her own God-given beauty, perhaps women everywhere will realize that we’re more than just our hair. I know I went back to my “coarse” texture this summer and I feel relieved because I finally realized that the only “good hair” is healthy hair that makes you feel good about yourself. Well done, Tyra.”

I felt it was good to reinforce that message here. It doesn't matter what your skin color or ethnicity might be, most women are constantly striving to achieve some beauty ideal that we've been told to embrace. Whether that be straight, smooth hair or a body with less than 10% body fat, there's always some "ideal state" that we're trying to achieve. We chemically alter our hair, get plastic surgery or injectables in our faces - all in the pursuit of some physical appearance that will make us "happier." Most feel once we achieve this state, people will accept us, our love lives will improve and it's then we can be content.

I once had a man tell me the sexiest thing about someone is their confidence and it's true: whatever your hair might look like, no matter what your body weight might be, the most attractive thing about you is loving yourself. Whatever you're feeling about yourself projects out into the world and people will respond to it. If you're hating how you look, other people will follow your lead. Love yourself and people will be attracted to that vibration. It's true: you teach people how to treat you. Think about how your feelings about your looks are reflected in the company you keep. I might have a point.

Whether this is a publicity stunt for Tyra or not, I hope we can all take away the important message she's attempting to convey, which is that our beauty is more than just our hair. The ultimate style statement is loving who you are and knowing what works best for you. Natural hair, weaves, straightening treatments, curls - decide what makes your soul come alive from the inside out and then work it, because the only ideal of beauty that matters is your own.