Fashion Do-Over: The Bachelor 2010 Ladies Need New Evening Attire

I've skipped many seasons of ABC's The Bachelor so when I tuned in Monday night to see what I was missing, I was left with only one staggering question after all the desperation and mayhem from the premiere. It had nothing to do with the wimpy bachelor or even the woman who felt she should don a flight attendant costume. It was this:

Why did all of the women look like the Prom section of a major department store threw up on them? No, I mean, seriously...from the high hair to the shiny teeth to the flammable shiny gowns, it was like he was passing out corsages instead of single stem roses. I know they arrived in stretch limos but come ON.

Minus a couple of standouts that were PASSABLE (there was no dress in the lot where I would possibly co-sign on their style choice), may I make a plea that the long pageant gowns please go away? Yeah, see, that argument about looking demure and tasteful isn't going to hold water with me because, you know, you're on The Bachelor. If charm and privacy was what you were going after, you wouldn't be trying to snag a husband on national television. Just saying. But I digress. Let's kick it up a notch and show a little leg, here, shall we?Next time, may I make suggestions for the popular themes?

Red dresses are a fashion item no man can resist, it's true. Can we throw this smoking hot Laila Azhar One Shoulder Twist Dress (on sale for $190.50) into the mix, shall we? That should be like shooting fish in a barrel.

If it's a sequin you're craving, this sexy and shiny Vince Sequin Mesh Tank Dress ($375) should do the trick.

You're welcome, America.

Oh, one more thing, ladies. The makeup mirror has another setting called "Daylight." Use it next time. Television lighting is evidently brighter than you thought it would be.